Always being busy: People can become so preoccupied with activities, and they just aren’t available. It’s a protective device. After all, one’s mate can’t make emotional demands on one if one isn’t around. Women who fear getting close, often become caught up in a frenzy of pursuits outside the home. Men tend more to concentrate on their work, either putting in long hours or moonlighting even when thPromoting closeness with others: There are people who find it difficult to be close to anyone-spouses, children, friends, anyone at all. Others unconsciously adopt the slogan, “If I give so much of myself to others there’s very little left of myself to give to my mate”. Men like that are apt to spend a lot of time with their buddies or co-workers, prompting many a wife to remark, “He seems to be closer to his friend than he is to me “. Women, too, may spend a lot of time with friends, or they may single out their mothers or children for intense attention. At any rate, there’s an unhealthy concentration on others, with a corresponding lack of giving to their mates. People who adopt this pattern achieve a balance of sorts. They can be intimate with others and proceed with the marriage on a non-threatening formalized basis.eir financial situation doesn’t require it.
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